Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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