Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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