it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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