Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
