Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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