I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
