Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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