I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
