My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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