i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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