You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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