he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize