nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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