She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize