you have to choose: penises or morals?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
