My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
