SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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