and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize