Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
