my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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