She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
