is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize