She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
