You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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