I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
