Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
