ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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