Only a mothe r could love this liver
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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