When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
