xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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