i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
