i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
