I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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