White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
