our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
