How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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