I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
