my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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