apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
