Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
