My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
