I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
