Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
