I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so let's talk penis.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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