Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
