I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
