So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
