My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I want to fling myself into the sun
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