Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you made out with another girl for some wings
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
