The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize