Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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