were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
