were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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