dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
