Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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