Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
