come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize