She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize