It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
