And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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