I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
