Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
