Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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