omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
