1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
