break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
