I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
