I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
