I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
