Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
