Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I stole a fireplace last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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