Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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