you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
