Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
