Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
